Counting the Days

This was a draft from a while ago, and I just finished it today.

Time keeps going, and it seems each year that it goes faster and faster. It reminds me how short this life is.

I have been thinking a lot about this lately because I am planning to move to Minnesota again. It's a big step in my life and planning. I have in the past gone to MN because of school, but this time is different. I think in some ways that makes it scarier. I have a list of questions. Will I be able to get a job? Will I miss home more than usual? Will I be able to get plugged in even though I'm not a student? Will I be happy? Will it just be a waste of money?

Honestly, I really can't know the answer to any of those questions when I'm not even there.

"Fear tends to try to stop me."

Yesterday I was home alone for the greater part of the day. At one point I started to sing the words I just wrote above. There were more words to the song I made up along the way, but those 7 words stuck out to me because that has been my life for a number of years. I fear everything.

I fear doing things, making plans, stepping into the water as it were. Fear tries to stop me from living sometimes. But the time is running out. I want to learn to count the days so that I might be more useful in the time I am given, and I don't want fear to stop me from living to the fullest.

And it won't this time.

So, with a jump and a splat, I land in Minnesota for likely the final time. It's has been over a month now since I moved back. It has been crazy. I do have a job. I did miss home terribly at first, and I still get spasms. Church has been canceled and everything else I hoped to be a part of due to uncontrolled circumstances. Am I happy? Yes. I am living with my old room mate, and I have other people around that have made me very happy. It's funny how I asked that question because though it has been rough, I have found that God always brings joy when we seek Him first. I don't think this is a waste of money. I've been blessed by others and been able to bless them back.

So, I believe the jump was worth it, and I count each day a blessing and a gift. I don't think I'll ever forget these gifts and the lessons I've learned.