Sometimes I read old posts or journal entries, and I remember old times. Sometimes it was a single day, a day I'll always remember. For instance, I just read the post about the evening after the Good Friday service in 2019 when I raced Jackson Gray several times (and won every time). What a good time that was. Times when I had lots of friends and could be spontanious. Sometimes I miss those days, I think the past wasn't so bad.
But then, I remind myself what was really going on back in the day. I probably couldn't wait for the semester to be over and I could go back home to NC. I was probably sick of the city, just making the most of it. I probably missed lots of people back home. And, mostly, I probably really just wished I was a wife and mom.
Four years later I sit in my own rental house, our own rental house, while my own husband and daughter sleep.
It's mid morning, and the birds are happily singing. The sun is shining. I planted a few more seeds and watered the ones I already planted. My flowers have just germinated, and I am getting very excited. It's really spring, and it seems that maybe the warm weather is actually here to stay this time.
Every day I look forward to Jacob waking up and spending time with him. Taliya can be a handful, but I love her, and I lover watching her grow and learn new things. I don't have a bunch of friends right now. I don't have the leisure to do whatever I want, but I absolutely ove my life. I am so thankful and blessed.
Dreams really can come true.
So, although it can sometimes be tempting to think the past was better, I know the present is always best because that's where God has us. Besides, my life really is better now.
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