Fainting in the Sunshine

The title of this post is also the title of the poem below, which is also apparently something I said once. I said it while talking to my friend Alex. The phrase stuck and he ended up writing this poem. I am still not entirely sure what it means (that's life for me; poems are sometimes really difficult to understand), but it is interesting, and maybe some of y'all will be better at interpreting it. I hope, whatever the case, that you find some enjoyment in reading it.

Fainting in the Sunshine

Fading between levels of consciousness

Grasping for a sense of reality that eluded me even when lucid

Treading between wavelengths of peace and pain and confusion with surrounding amplifications of love

Do I reach for the light?

Do I rush the inevitable and walk to the darkness?

Or do I remain in the grey area?

Static clouds of content and gentle dew drops of comfort engulf me in an area that seems eerily familiar.

Why should I fight to go somewhere I was never sure welcomed me?

If I cross my legs

If I sit down and close my eyes long enough,

I get a feeling of home that is no less or greater than that of which any address has provided me

Alas,

For some reason I feel something greater than the desires of my own selfish being to leave.

I still crave the warmth from the touch of my loved ones

I still crave the chill from standing mountain top, finally understanding the dominion I was given over the fish of the sea, the birds of the heavens, over the livestock and over all the the earth and every creeping thing that covers the earth

I even crave the feelings of disappointment and heartache, knowing each experience yields a lesson I was bound to learn someday

So for now, I choose to arise and feel the sunshine once again

~A.C.P.