Lydia in Louisville

After the NC trip, Lydia drove back to KY with us and spent the week up here. Honestly, we didn't do a whole lot. I think we needed the calmer pace. 

Late night TV probably. 

Taliya's 2nd Birthday celebration. 

Of course, we all went to the creek while Lydia was here. 

Micah loved it. 

Jacob and I made a series of dams to create a strong, concentrated current. It was so much fun. 

The strongest part of the current was so strong, it pulled me down. 

Well, that was a nice time. 

North Carolina

Our adventures in North Carolina were plenty of happiness, but all of it was damponed by the reason we were there. 

Lydia and Micah selfie.

Taliya in the woods. Even though she's grown up in the city, she prooved that she has my country blood by bravely walking barefoot all over those woods I grew up in. 

We gathered around the brothers' old fort. Some of us even began trying to fix it up. 

I love this picture of Josiah with Addison and Taliya. Josiah loves being outside and was showing the kids different nature things. 

More family adventures in the woods to find the little spring. 

We spent a day in Gabriel and Emily's town in western NC. This was at their neighbor's farm. 

At Gabriel and Emily's house. 

We split up in the afternoon. One half of the family went to a creek, while the other half stayed in town and walked around. We got dinner at this food truck that was so good. 

Our last day, back at mom and dad's. 

We played disc golf. 

We watched some adorable goat kids. 

And sheep.

The Creek

Later in the week after Bethany died, I really wanted to go to the creek. I wanted to be out in nature and in the water. It was so nice and refreshing. I love these summer days at the creek.

Death

I haven't written in a while because it's really hard to say things outloud sometimes. 

On July 2, my second youngest sister killed herself.

That week was very difficult. It came as a surprise and horror to all of us. The next week we went down to NC for the funeral. Everyone came. It was a weird time because on the one hand, everyone seemed so happy to be together and we had a lot of fun. On the other hand, we knew Bethany would never show up because she is dead. Last week Lydia was here. So, I've had a lot of distraction. 

It can be good to be distracted for a time, so I don't go crazy, but I also want to think about it and face the reality full on. It hurts so much to think that Bethany thought her problems were too big, that she wouldn't get support and help from her family. I tried to be a good sister, but I keep wondering what I could have done better. 

I guess I still have 6 living siblings that I can love more than ever before. I want to be better at showing them that I care about them and think about them. 

July 2, 2024